Constantly concerned for our readers and the economy, we have come out with our own credit cards, shown above. Our interest rate is a reasonable 92% above prime, currently 11.94% with a late charge of $560.00. We feel that bleeding you dry will stimulate the economy by continuing to steal your money and funnel it into programs like: Free health care for those who don't work, programs for criminals, free housing and free food for those who have a criminal record, and a tax credit for expensive rims and those who have hatched over three babies. To apply click here.
Also, you are eligible to enroll in our "credit protection program" where we charge you $15.00 a month and send you e-mails reminding you on how royally shitty your credit is becoming! You can also earn points for buying shit that you don't need or want. Points earned can be spend on buying bullets to protect your house from criminals and the final solution when you realize in what kind of deep trouble we are truly in! Don't be stingy, adopt a criminal! Show your credit card with pride and say, "Yes! I want to be throwing my hard earned money down the crapper!".
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